ReTRo HouSeWiFe

Kindergarten to enroll next week

There will be kindergarten enrollment on Monday and Tuesday, August 4 and 5, in the library of the Chillicothe Area Vocational-Technical School. Enrollment hours are 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Parents are to bring the child's birth certificate and immunization records. The child must be 5 years old before October 1 in order to enroll in kindergarten.
Source: Chillicothe Constitution-Tribune, Chillicothe, Missouri - July 31, 1975 - Newspaper Archive

Unbeknownst to parents, the schools had been taken over by patients from the local insane asylum, in what will one day be considered the most successful conspiracy in history, wherein every member of the educational profession was swapped out for a patient, who then simply assumed their role. This has to be what happened, because how would you otherwise explain this:

 "We affirm the students' right to their own patterns and varieties of language -- the dialects of their nurture or whatever dialects in which they find their own identity and style. Language scholars long ago denied that the myth of a standard American dialect has any validity. The claim that any one dialect is unacceptable amounts to an attempt of one social group to exert its dominance over another. Such a claim leads to false advice for speakers and writers, and immoral advice for humans. A nation proud of its diverse heritage and its cultural and racial variety will preserve its heritage of dialects. We affirm strongly that teachers must have the experiences and training that will enable them to respect diversity and uphold the right of students to their own language. "

Imagine, you're a poor, uneducated parent, working your tail off so that your kids can have a better life - get a real education, and the ninnies at the school want to respect your child's language instead of teaching him or her how to read and write properly. Dialects are great! They add spice to life and flavor to regions of the country - but language is first and foremost a communication tool, not a condiment.

It seems we have been altogether wrong about the poor performance of our schools. They have performed wonderfully given the goals they set for themselves. They weren't trying to teach kids to read and write, they were busy patting themselves on the back for "respecting diversity and upholding the right of students to their own language!" That resume full of spelling errors and grammar catastrophes you received? Not the case at all! That was just your applicant's "Own Language!" sca huulhopit burg borf glip glip! Meitjlqpp gorrrup fiddlat boing boing!!!!!!!

Kids and Communes

• Charlotte is 24, an Air Force brat who got on booze, psychedelic drugs and the whole sex scene in high school, dropping out at 17, contemplating suicide. "That's when I came to Synanon. It's my life now."
• Drew, 15, is from Los Angeles, and has told his story so many times it sounds rehearsed. "When 1 was 10 my parents separated. My mother remarried. My stepfather didn't like me and I didn't like him. I stole money from his wallet and pants pockets and lied to him. He beat me.. I ran away at 12. A cop found me sleeping on a bench and wanted to take me home. I didn't want to go so went to a boys' home until getting lonesome for my mom. But it was the same, stealing, messing around, fighting, getting beat up by my stepfather."
  
  He ran away again. In three days he got caught.
  
  "I didn't want to go home. Mom had heard about Synanon. ...I've been in four months. I'm in the punk squad. That's for people who need to be tamed. We get up at 4:30. We exercise and run. We have inspection. If the bed ain't right we have to do it until it is. If we don't follow, the rules we have to do pushups or - get knocked around. We don't get school, until we earn it."
  
  Kaiser interjected: "Education is a privilege, not a right; These people have to learn to get along before they can go to school."

Follow up: Children of Synanon,1996 ** Synanon Museum (Official Site)