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1980s Family Vacations & Travel

Tips To Ease Vacation Tension

The family vacation can be a great getaway - or a disaster - depending on how it is planned. "The family vacation is a delicate social event," said Paul Rosenblatt, University Of Minnesota Professor of family social science, in the June issue of Redbook. "The rest of the year family members have built-in breaks from each other - they go to work, to school, they visit with friends. "but on vacation, people have to spend every minute of every day having fun together - or they think they do. it can be very stressful." another aspect of the problem was pointed out by Robert Felner, Director Of Clinical Training at Alabama's Auburn University.

"What's bad in a family can get worse on vacation," he said "You see your mate in a new light, and it's not always a flattering one." Felner's point is backed up by the Family and Children's Service Agency in Minneapolis, which gets a record number of requests for counseling the day after Labor Day.

Vacation tension can be eased by following some simple "Don'ts": - Don't expect too much. Felner calls it "the Christmas Morning Syndrome," when people are disappointed in vacations because their expectations were unreasonably high.

"Get the family together and do a little anticipatory coping," Felner advised. "Talk through what each person expects out of the vacation, and then assess the chances of actually realizing those expectations. If you all want different things, you are all going to have to work out a compromise."

Don't overschedule. "People try to do too much," Felner said. "They turn the vacation into an endurance contest." This applies particularly where children are concerned. "Parents simply don't give their kids a chance to rest," Kim R. Devos, public relations representative of Sea World of Florida, said. "The kids get cranky; everyone's yelling."

Don't turn it into a guilt trip. "If you haven't gotten along with your own mom for 30 years, chances are you're not going to have a great visit home just because you've brought your husband and kids along," Felner said. He advised that if you're only visiting your parents because you have to - then don't.

Don't ignore differences. "Discuss differences and build them into the vacation," Felner said. "Let the one who likes to sit, SIT, and let the one who likes to race around take the kids on a whirlwind adventure."

Don't think money buys fun. "If you've saved all year for one big splash, that in itself can cause vacation stress," said Hy Day, psychology professor at Toronto's York University.

Don't neglect your spouse. Felner advised going somewhere offering babysitting, or leaving the kids with the grandparents. The experts advised breaking up vacations, Linda Lee wrote in Redbook. For example, take a series of long weekends throughout the summer. "You have more respites to look forward to," Felner said, "and no big expensive trip to be disappointed in."

Source: Frederick News-Post June 3rd, 1985 -


1985 - Call Boyer and Save - Computer Rates - Lowest in Frederick
This travel agent could give you "Computer rates" - they've just got to be the best!
      Purple Flower
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