Friday, November 27, 2009

Post Thanksgiving Analysis

There is nothing like a family get-together to bring out one's finer qualities. My parents hosted Thanksgiving this year and the prospect of going home for a family function has pretty much the same effect on me as a full moon has on a werewolf.

I spent the morning mentally running through the possible arguments that could arise and trying to devise a plan to return a few of my mother's items without reminding her that I still can't find the credit card she loaned me. This caused me to become somewhat agitated, and while trying to locate some particular item of clothing in the laundry room, I uncovered a great injustice that my husband had perpetrated against me;

He had purchased several new pairs of pants and button down shirts at Costco, but had not been considerate enough to purchase new hangers to go along with them.

Now what was I supposed to do? I have plenty of cheap plastic hangers and oodles of paper-covered wire hangers from the dry-cleaners, but I don't use those to hang up his work clothes because they tend to leave tell-tale, cheap-hanger creases in the shoulders and absolutely ruin the shape of the garment. They also spoil the closet aesthetics I have worked so hard to achieve - my little victory in organization in my otherwise disorderly and chaotic world.

He had obviously done this because he doesn't love me and wants to make me suffer. I had no choice, but to sacrifice a number of my wooden hangers to hang up his new shirts and pants. I of course, would not mention this terrible hardship he had inflicted upon me (for at least 142 seconds), but would endure it with stoic silence and just give all my clothes to Goodwill, for what other choice did I have? It was Thanksgiving and no suitable wooden hangers could be purchased. This was the only solution. Perhaps he would realize the extent of his inconsiderate behavior when he has to appear with me in public, with me clad only with an old potato sack. (I don't actually own a potato sack.) ...

I will spare you the rest of what we will now refer to as "The Hanger Episode". To my husband's credit, he listened calmly as I rattled off the horrors that would befall me in my new life with insufficient hangers and assured me that he would buy more hangers the next time he was at Costco. This calmed me down enough so I could finish getting ready and Thanksgiving 2009 was back on track.

As we were driving up the coast, sanity reclaimed my werewolf brain and I apologized to my husband and said sheepishly, "I guess I get a little crazy around the holidays." He just kind of laughed and said, "I know."

Boy am I thankful to have him.


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