Romancing The Bolshevik

Note: I am not saying here that I think the US has turned or is turning communist. I wrote this because I have read several articles that IMHO glorified communism, and because there is a new generation of young adults who have no living memories of the Iron Curtain. September 17th, 2009.

My grandmother used to say:

"If you aren't a liberal when you are young, you have no heart but if you are still a liberal when you are old, you have no brain"

I want to write down a few things that I have witnessed so far in my life, so I don't forget them and because it seems to me that a great many pseudo intellectuals out there are once again romancing the Bolshevik.

Let me say first that I understand somewhat the allure of the revolutionary - I own a tank top with a Che silhouette imprinted on the front. A handsome guy, in a beret with a faraway look in his eyes, seemingly intent on helping the poor and downtrodden of the world through righteous struggle. To many, the life represented by the Che is far more appealing and exciting than that of the establishment, which usually involves alarm clocks, a steady job and considerable amounts of personal restraint and self control. (If you are still unclear on my meaning, allow me to refer you to the Abba song "Fernando" - that should clear things up.)

Think about romance. Romance is wonderful - we all yearn for it, seek it out, pay money to online dating websites to find it. Then when you meet someone you really like, the first six months or so are just sheer heaven - sometimes you feel that you could just live on love alone. And perhaps sometime during this whirlwind romance, you decide to marry. This extends the romance a bit as you plan your dream wedding to commemorate your perfect and unique love. After the magical event, you honeymoon for awhile until, inevitably, there is a knock at your door and when you open it, you meet reality again. You are surprised because you thought reality would never visit you again as he was being kept busy by the Jones down the street.

And then, all of a sudden, that pesky reality is seemingly everywhere - the postman brings several realities a day in the form of love notes from the gas company, the electric company, the bank, an insurance company or two. To make matters worse, your best friends Mastercard, Visa and American Express who supported you through your whirlwind romance and wedding are starting to take on a less supportive tone in their correspondence with you, and they don't seem to want to accept even a drop of your "love" as payment. It slowly dawns on you that it may not actually be possible to live on love after all. Your stomach makes a funny noise and you realize that you want to put something in there - like food.

Hopefully you have chosen well and your new spouse has already been introduced to reality and is adept with dealing with him and thriving in a world where reality rules. Or perhaps you have not and the love of your life refuses to even acknowledge reality and when confronted with the droppings that reality sometimes leaves behind, attributes their existence to something else.

Or maybe your spouse will start to blame you for the growing mess that reality can make when he is ignored. Soon the two of you are arguing every day, the garbage is piling up because the trash company didn't accept love as a form of payment either and simply broke up with you instead.

So you tell the deadbeat to go get a job and he goes through the motions of looking for a job, but because every single person in the world is out to get him, he never actually gets one. You, on the other hand were able to find employment so you go to work every day to earn some money to send to the trash company, the electric company, the gas company and to your old friends Visa, Mastercard and American Express in the hopes that they will once again be your friends.

However, when you look at your online bank account, you realize that at least half of the money you earned has been withdrawn, and with a little research you discover that your deadbeat husband has been spending it on other women. You threaten to leave him and he beats you up and locks you in the basement. He keeps you there until you promise to be good and that you will not try to leave.

You go get another job and on your way to work you notice he is following you to make sure you keep your promise. He takes full control of the money you earn and pays the bills while telling you how grateful you should be because he is supporting you and keeping a roof over your head. He opens all the mail and reads it first - including your email - to make sure that you aren't plotting an escape or some other means to get out from under his control. He knows you are a troublemaker so he limits the places you can go and who you can see.

You have to go to elaborate lengths just to meet your best friend for a cup of coffee. You walk to the Starbucks (you no longer have a car - he took it away and uses it himself or lets one of his girlfriends drive it - after all - they don't try to leave him) and when you arrive at the Starbucks you notice the name has been changed to your husband's name and that they only sell one type of coffee - which you have to drink black because there is no sugar or cream. When you ask why there is no sugar or cream you are told that you should be grateful because you only have to pay a nickel for your cup of coffee.

In fact, coffee is dirt cheap everywhere you go. Coffee is also plentiful everywhere you go -as are flour and brown socks. You go to store after store after store to find the shelves stocked full with coffee, flour and brown socks - but not much else. The clerk tells you there was some milk and sugar earlier that day, but people had waited in line for hours to get it and it they had sold out within 15 minutes.

He tells you to try again tomorrow - but to come early if you want to buy anything but coffee, flour or brown socks. So you get in the habit of getting to the store early every day and waiting in line. You soon start waiting in lines just because there is a line forming - who knows what item you may be able to purchase!

This is now your life. You will always have plenty of coffee, flower and brown socks and it won't cost you much at all. Who knows? Maybe someday you will get lucky and will score a pair of blue socks too! After all, variety is the spice of life!

Very Romantic.

RH