ReTRo HouSeWiFe

DEAR RETRO HOUSEWIFE

Homemaker, 2008-03-03

Dear Retro Housewife,

I found this quote interesting: "The term homemaker is used in preference to either housewife or househusband because it is inclusive, defines the role in terms of activities, rather than relation to another, and is independent of marital status." What are your thoughts on men who choose to be homemakers/househusbands? It seems to me that men are quite badly discriminated against (especially by their friends?) for aspiring to become a homemaker. I believe in equal rights and so does my partner; we would be happy to swap places if we become bored in our current positions. Please share your thoughts on this?

RE: Homemaker

Dear Homemaker,

You raise not only a very interesting point, but also a very pertinent one. In the up-coming election we have a conservative and traditional woman running for office. She seems to have been the quintessential hockey mom, and yet now she has left her life of complete domesticity for politics and possibly the white house. Meanwhile, her husband has picked up the slack at home, taking leave from work to manage the household. I don't remember the exact term they used, but many reporters or columnists have created their own words for the stay-at-home dad. (by the way this example is Sarah Palin, republican VP nominee if you haven't already figured it out yet). Plus, with women dominating the college campuses, there has to be a larger proportion of well-educated females than males. It is safe to say that there will be relationships in which the woman is bringing home the bigger share of bacon.

If you are a pragmatist, then you might be disposed to consider the possibility of the man taking time off work to raise the children, especially if he earns less money or has a job with more flexibility. Obviously, men cannot take the place of women when it comes to pregnancy, labor, birth and breast-feeding, but there are many years that children need the support of a parent that may not necessarily be their mother. It is safe to say that my father has more of a penchant for the culinary arts than does my mother and he is also less involved with his work. It then follows that a portion of the domestic chores are allocated to him. Does he feel emasculated or embarrassed by this? I don't think so and I should think he shouldn't. I am adamant that a household needs balance. I think that this new century is a time for both men and women to realize that "homemaker" is not beneath either of them and in fact essential to the well maintained household.

Fun Fact: Although the United States considers itself to be one of the more progressive nations, we are one of the only first-world countries to not offer any sort of paternity leave. Sweden, Spain, France Denmark, Japan, China, Senegal, Zambia (to name a few) all generously give fathers time to spend at home (12 weeks at least with full pay) and some even make a couple weeks mandatory.

RH MINI

Status: IN PROGRESS