ReTRo HouSeWiFe

DEAR RETRO HOUSEWIFE

Marriage, Relationships and Dating

Needs Guidance, 2006-11-30

Dear Retro Housewife,

Hi, I'm a 22-year-old college dropout, working part-time, and I've decided I want to be a retro housewife. The problem is, no guy seems to want a girlfriend who isn't educated enough. They all want career wives. I personally believe career women have it worse, emotionally and physically. Today's society criticizes housewives for being 'lazy'. I, for one, WON'T be just sitting around the house eating chocolates and watching Oprah (I hate her). I guess I need guidance. How can I find a man who will understand my way of thinking?

RE: Needs Guidance

Dear Marg,

I am wondering...do you want to be a Retro Housewife because you dropped out of college and are looking for focus in your life? Why did you drop out? Do you consider not finishing your degree a failure?

Let's take a look at your letter and what that says about you to prospective husbands! (I am assuming that you had a choice about the college issue and it was not due to financial hardship or illness...)

1. Started a major "Life Project" and didn't follow through. Now I am sure there are many men who wouldn't give a hoot, but I suspect you are interested in men that are college educated themselves. Many of them will look at this as a negative, not because you are not "educated enough", but because you didn't complete what you started. If I were you, I would go see the college counselor and figure out a way to salvage the work you have completed thus far, and get a degree. It doesn't have to be the degree you initially intended to get; look into a different major or a two year degree, but you should finish one all the same. That will give you a very practical asset plus the satisfaction of wrapping up your education on a positive note and will demonstrate that you have character. Having good character is more important in life than degrees.
2. Thinks being a Housewife is a "fallback" and that Housewives can get by with little education. - I sense that you are rationalizing your decision to leave college. Will you someday be rationalizing your decision to leave your marriage? Embarking on a career of marriage and family is a decision you make when you are in a good place in life. You will hate to hear this, but at 22, you have barely begun to become the person you will be for the rest of your life. Forget about men for the moment and take some time to get to know yourself. Try out different things, follow your interests, get fired a couple times, get promoted a few times, save up and go to France and be somebody that somebody else will want to hang out with. The best relationships develop over time in an unforced setting. Get busy and you will meet so many interesting men you won't know what to do with them all.
3. Finally, Think about your statement that men only want career wives. There are many men around and I don't think they all want the same things in a wife. Marriage is just as much a business contract as it is a romantic one. Do you have enough to offer the type of man you are looking for? If not, how can you get it? Being a housewife requires more skill than ever if you want to be successful at it! Get busy developing those skills, and focus on the positive. You will find your guy.
RH

One way to meet people who are interested in marriage is to use an online dating service. I am not quite sure how I feel about these sites, since I have heard both positive and negative reviews from people who have used them.

I myself tried yahoo dating for a brief period, but found it wasn't really for me. (not yahoo in particular, I just find dating strenuous.) I had a friend who met her husband on yahoo dating, and they are going on 6 years of marriage now.

One thing I can tell you is that you need to be careful when using these services. Just like you need to be careful if somebody you don't know asks you out on a date. Remember what your mother told you, meet in a public place, really get to know the person before you disclose too much personal information. A well balanced individual won't mind your caution!

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