ReTRo HouSeWiFe

DEAR RETRO HOUSEWIFE

Marriage, Relationships and Dating

Question from a Manly Soldier, 2007-04-09

Dear Retro Housewife,

Seriously, Is there a specific type of woman that finds it satisfying to raise a family take care of her house, and support her husband while he works all day? I'm in Iraq right now, third time in fact, and after this I'm going to be a civilian again.

Now I pride myself on being an extraordinary guy. I've been to cooking Classes, dance classes (salsa, tango, ballroom, etc.) among other things. I will be going to college at home after I'm out and running a business, and then running for the legislature in Nov 08'. Now, I'm not trying to brag. Not at all. It's just that Finding a Wonderful woman to marry is very important to me. When I run for Governor, or senator, I need to have a woman standing with me and behind me, that I can trust, and that can push me in the right direction. The type of women who stays home and is a wife. Because she wants to be...

I'm only 23, so I guess I got some time, but I would like a big family, and I want to be in my prime for my children and my future wife. So perhaps I'm anxious to find someone like that. Anyways, what type of woman is like that, what type of man do I need to be to find her, and what do I need to do to be the best husband in the world for her? It's a lot to ask, but I'm just a soldier who wants to live the American dream... My American dream. Got any advice? I really never ask anyone, but you seem like the types that would be willing to at least point me in the right direction.

RE: Question from a Manly Soldier

Dear Soldier,

First, Thank you for the sacrifice you are making through your service in Iraq, and please come home safely. I can't imagine what it must be like, risking your life on a daily basis like that. It makes me feel a bit spoiled.

Now, to answer your question, is there a "type" of woman who wants to dedicate herself to the responsibility of home and family? I would say both yes and no. There are certainly women who know right from the start that they prefer to me a wife and mother over a career outside the home, and then there are those (like me) who took a different path before coming to the conclusion that career "housewife" is where it's at. I never even considered this roll when I was a youngster; I thought I needed to be CEO of some company to have a "satisfying" life.

You have set yourself some pretty hefty goals in life, and I think in order to achieve them, you need to find a woman who already has a pretty good idea that she wants career housewife. Now, what does her resume need to contain to be able to support you in your business and political endeavors? After pondering this awhile, I came up with a list that I hope will be helpful to you.

1. Good moral character, which includes honesty, loyalty and a willingness to empathize and help others and put her own immediate gratification on hold when need be in order to achieve a larger goal. Ideally, these things will come from within and will not have been imposed on her by an outside source. (What would she do if she found somebody's wallet containing $1,000? Try to find the owner and return the money, or pocket the cash and toss the wallet?)
2. Strong sense of self, meaning she has the guts to say "this is who I am" take it or leave it! She doesn't let others push her around or take advantage of her, and she gives others the same respect. She won't do something she finds morally questionable just to please others or go with the flow.
3. No skeletons in her closet. Don't look for a wife by watching "Girls Gone Wild" videos. She doesn't have to be a prude, and a mischievous, playful side is a definite plus, she should just be smart enough not to get videotaped doing it.
4. Well educated and adept at social graces. A good liberal arts education should do the trick, and any foreign language skills are a plus. Jackie Kennedy spoke French, Spanish and Italian. Organizational skills are important, too!
5. Strong work ethic; she has her work cut out for her, what with home, kids and the responsibilities that come with arranging social events and helping with political campaigns.

I could go on and on, but I think those are the main things to look for. The most important thing to remember is that the two of you will be equal partners, each fulfilling different roles to achieve a common goal. Don't make the mistake of considering her "inferior" because her job is different than yours. A company wouldn't succeed if everybody was president; you need sales, marketing, finance etc. to prosper. And BOTH of you are on the board of directors.

As you are searching for the woman who is right for you, be honest about what you want. Find somebody who has overall life goals that are compatible with yours, but don't be too rigid and set them in stone. Life has a way of throwing you curve balls, and your ability to adapt and respond appropriately will be a huge factor in your ultimate success of failure!

RH