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05/31/2007 Sent by Rebekah

Thank you

I just wanted to drop a line and say thank you! I came across your site from another BLOG and it has helped put to rest some of the guilt (self-placed) I've felt since becoming a stay at home mom. Although my husband and I agreed long before we had children that we didn't want them to be raised by others in daycare situations I still felt on some level that what I do isn't considered as worthwhile as those women that take on everything. We have 2 beautiful girls under the age of 3 and pretty much every day is incredibly full .. even without the mirage of lessons, play dates, and the like that our friends children (of the same ages) are shuffled to and from! It's a great relief knowing that I'm not alone in having unfolded laundry or toys on the living room floor at the end of the day and that doesn't mean that I've done a bad job that day!

As an aside, reading your site brought back a memory of Freshman English and the obligatory "What I want to be when I grow up" essay. Mine was about how I wanted to be a caretaker of my family .. take care of my husband, our children and our home. My feminist teacher graded the writing an 'A' but made an example of me .. saying that I anti-feminist, a traitor to my sex and wondered why such an intelligent person would aspire to so little. Funny how a 14 year old could cause a grown woman to be so defensive, huh? I was literally speechless for a few minutes (not an easy task for me!) and finally retorted that I was aspiring have the best and most important occupation in the world and it needed no degree, no career wardrobe and no daycare. Needless to say it was a tough year but taught be to be tolerant of others ways of life.

I honestly believe that not every woman is cut out to be a full time homemaker. The glory of the feminist movement is that we have a choice. Bottom line is that each mother, whether they work at home, work from home, or outside of the home, loves and cares for her children and is parenting her children the best way she knows. I have felt (and heard on occasion) that my choice to be a full time homemaker is one of laziness and I have nothing interesting to contribute. I think all mothers, regardless of their situation, have moments where we question if we're doing what's best for our kids. I think that I'd be able to get my kids more toys or my husband would be able to get a newer car if I were working a "normal" job. But my kids don't need another toy (just another one to be picked up!) and my husband's car is perfectly fine. They need me and that is a fantastic feeling!