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August 1-6 - 15% off select jewelry items! Coupon code: C78881
August 2-5 - 10% off select kitchen items Coupon code: C77160
August 23-27 - Free Shipping on all Wusthof Knife Orders of $75
August 18-24 - Purchase more than $125 on Fashion receive a 10% coupon valid in September!
My Favorite HSN Links
HSN = Home Shopping Network
QVC = Questionable Vampire Channel, Quackery Virtually Continuously
QVC = Quality, Value, Convenience
HOME SHOPPING IS HIP
Musings of a HSN JunkieWarning! This page contains subliminal advertising for HSN...
Shopping from home is hip. I know you are thinking; “Yeah, maybe in Arkansas” while you picture grannies “oohing” and “aahing” over little 10k gold crosses and sighing at the life-size dolls with porcelain faces that remind them of their grandchildren.
Well, all that is still there, and while we're on the topic, kudos to Marie Osmond for being a grown child-star who has not seen the inside of a jail cell or a rehab, and survived getting divorced twice despite what the Mormon God thought (I think His names is Frederick Abernacky (really, it's Joseph Smith) when he comes apreachin’ among us) well, through all he toils, Marie just could not keep those doe-eyed and full cheeked little porcelain babes out of her mind. It was as if God had given her a mission to fulfill:
And then Marie mentally scribbled, between "many" and "babies", in quite legible dark blue crayon the words ”porcelain faced and handed”, and now people all over the country no longer have satisfy themselves with those posters of the animals with really big eyes that stare out at you in all knowing sadness.
Marie Osmand’s collectable age-resistant child people were waiting for your call. But you had better hurry! `It’s a limited edition and you won’t get one unless you call now, right now, look at the low, low price, look at the angelic chubby cheeks, wow, they are literally flying out the out the door!1
And didn’t I say shopping from the Telly is hip? Well, here is why:
These channels, like HSN and QVC have literally, hordes of people working for them full time to find the very best product of it’s kind, or the very newest and most scientifically advanced, or the very latest in styles in clothes, hair products, hair pieces, tanning methods, and general “gotta look good” paraphernalia.
HSN doesn’t waste any money figuring out how to sell whatever it is they have found. No Advertising department, no thinking up ways to make the customer think this is better than a truly superior product. Fact is, places like The Home Shopping Network sell the best quality, found by the best people to find it.
So you can relax and know that even if it is little dolls with porcelain faces, painted by hand eye lashes and lips and Marie is pregnant with her fourth child from her third husband, you can pretty much feel secure in the fact that these are the best dollies from sea to shining sea and if, when she arrives in your house in 3 - 5 days, you don’t feel her lace apron is truly hand made, or it was made by someone who was eating a PB&J with the same hand, just send it back to HSN, and your credit card gets that happy zap before you know it.
And think about it! When you sell 18,000 of something every three
minutes, you can afford to cut the price. What are the odds that as many people in
America go to a store and purchase the same item. Even that whole day,
the number will not come anywhere close. So go check out those goodies for
which you’ve been hankering; Jewelry in Gold or Silver, Handbags, Name Brand
or no, Electronics, Hair products... ANYTHING!! Those HSN hostesses with
marginal grammar1 are
passing on some crazy deals!
1 This is a pet peeve of mine. At least a half dozen times a day the intelligent persuasive HSN host or hostess will be so exuberated that they describe things emphatically, and without fail, when they have said the hyperbolic of terms like, “It’s as if Hercules had diverted a river and now our entire stock is rushing out the door to you callers, all across America”. Then, He takes a nice big breath before he lays on the show stopper:
”I mean these things are literally gone!”
I would like to show up in a suit with a briefcase and give an 8 hour seminar on the literal meaning of literal, for the low, low price of $500.00 a pop.
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